Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
