I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
