The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
