fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm like, not good at living.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
