it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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