I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
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