didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
