Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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