Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
