batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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