come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
