So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
