so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
