she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize