My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
