i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
