I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Welp...herpes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
