We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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