i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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