I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
