Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
