Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
