Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
