they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
