its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
