The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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