I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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