Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
