A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
