im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize