Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
