I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
