Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
