She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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