Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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