do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
