The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize