I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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