we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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