guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need water and some morals
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
