When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
