D3 body, D1 cock
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
