I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
