Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize