but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
