yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize