just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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