Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize