Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
