suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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