His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
