And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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