sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
