You're so nebulous sometimes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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