He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
