Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
