It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
