bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
