I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
