when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
